How can I know if I know in love?
"Love is a feeling you feel when you have a feeling you never felt to feel the feeling."
Sounds great, right?
I have cited for years, until I thought I first had an electric shock. It's a feeling I never felt, but I guarantee you it was not love!
The problem with the word is love, that we have so many emotions or situations that we sometimes do not know what means to use it. So what? What is this thing called love?
Dr. Robert Sternberg at Yale University, probably the best defined. He says that love consists of three parts: 1) the decision and commitment, 2) intimacy, and 3) passion. If all three strong presence in our feelings for another person, he says that we consume in love with that person. What are these?
• Decision / commitment dimension of short-term and long-term measures. The short-term dimension occurs when we consciously decide that we love someone. The long-term dimension occurs when rooted commitment to love to maintain. Interestingly, some in the next commitment without ever deliberately chosen not to do it.
• Intimacy means close, closeness, warmth and bondedness. It's about understanding each other, accept each other and have an open communication and close together.
• Passion is physical attraction, lust and other strong emotional attraction to another person.
These three components of love were present at the time of Jesus. Commitment is the Agape in passages like Matthew 5:44 found. Intimacy Philia is located in passages like Titus 2:4. Eros and Passion matches. Sternberg did not find anything new in his research he has quantified just how these components measure love.
What does this mean for you?
I keep hearing people say things like "I'm not sure if my husband's love" or "I do not know if my husband loves me." Well, you know. Instead of trying to undefined to measure intangible sense to try to understand how all three components exist in your marriage. The best way to do an informative conversation with your spouse. The next exercise is not foolproof, but each person can give an overview of love in your relationship. You have to train together, and you should be honest.
1. Each spouse describes / defines what does commitment to him or her.
2. With the definition of spouse, each person rates his commitment to others on a scale of 1-10. Make sure that the chosen credit rating explained.
3. Each person then answers this question: How am I with the degree of commitment of each satisfied?
4. Each spouse describes / defines what intimacy means to him or her.
5. With the definition of spouse, each person rates his feelings of intimacy for others on a scale of 1-10. Make sure that the chosen credit rating explained.
6. Each person then answers this question: What should I do with the level of intimacy that we all happy?
7. Each spouse describes / defines what it means to love him.
8. With the definition of spouse, each person rates his feelings of love for each other on a scale of 1-10. Make sure that the chosen credit rating explained.
9. Each person then answers this question: What should I do with the degrees of passion we all feel satisfied?
10. Now, evaluate all love you feel and what do each of you can develop to increase their commitment, intimacy and passion.
There may be one or two evenings to complete the exercise, but if you want, you probably have a clearer picture of your love for each other. Marriage Helper, you can search the site to visit for compatibility test marriage compatibility and strength of your relationship, the whole operation ..
